How to Be

 I am re-re-reading A Circle of Quiet by my favorite ole girl, Madeleine L'Engle.  Her thoughts on ontology jumped up at me- perfect description of early learning and development.  I love reading a book again and picking up some new ideas each time.  Check it:

 "Ontology: the word about the essence of things; the word about being. . . I was trying to think out loud about the concentration essential for all artists, and in the very little child I found the perfect example.  The concentration of a small child at play is analogous to the concentration of the artist of any discipline.  In real play, which is real concentration, the child is not only outside of time, he is outside himself.  He has thrown himself completely into whatever it is that he is doing.  A child playing a game, building a sand castle, painting a picture, is completely in what he is doing.  His self-consciousness is gone; his consciousness is wholly focused outside himself." 

Haven't you seen that perfect concentration yourself, whether you're a parent or a caregiver to a young person?  One example with my own kid comes to my mind.  On Max's first birthday we threw him the requisite party with food, drinks, people, etc.  He was very, very interested in the ice cubes keeping the drinks cold.  My friend pointed it out to me and we watched him for a few minutes.  He dug around the bin for the perfect piece, held it for a second, and then placed it on a bench nearby.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.  I challenge anyone to say that infants and toddlers have short attention spans!  Unless they've been corrupted by video games and television and all the other bleep/flash/bang "learning toys" out there.  That kind of concentration is beautiful and creative, if you ask me.  Yet it's kind of a contradiction, isn't it?  A child who is engaged in real play, or an artist immersed in creating a new work, is "wholly focused outside himself," but at the same time he is being completely himself.  It's like the outward focus allows the true self to finally emerge, unencumbered and honest.  This is an idea L'Engle works out in many of her YA novels (Team Vicky for the win!).

So how does this relate to parents or infant caregivers?  It's easy to explain: when these helpless little aliens are placed in our care, we are given the simple yet devastatingly important task of teaching them How to Be.  That's how to be people, people!  Think of an infant who doesn't have a complete grasp of language yet- she's looking at you, literally looking and watching, to learn how to act.  That's when that whole modeling behavior principle comes in- you don't shout at a bunch of kids to get them to be quiet, right?  I think the best, most basic early childhood mission statement should involve supporting children in their basic humanity.  Allow them periods for uninterrupted play.  Let them learn about their bodies and about the world they inhabit.  Don't force a bunch of toddlers to sit in a circle of chairs for storytime like some kind of cat-herding exercise.  Observe them and let them show you how to truly let them be.  If ontology is the study of the essence of being, I'm going to start using the word "ontologist" to describe infant and toddler caregivers!

Free Ice Cream + Free Roky = First Show series

Kind of short notice, but I just found out about a fun free show on Wednesday.  It's part of a "First Show" series assembled by the fun and generous dudes of the F$%^ Yeah Fest (guess what the first F stands for). 

Who: Roky Erickson, Okkervil River, Dallas Clayton
What: Musical performance, book reading, and free ice cream!
When: Wednesday, May 19th.  After school (how cute is that), or, approx. 3:30.  Roky goes on then and will play for about half an hour. 
Where: Center for the Arts in Eagle Rock, 2225 Colorado Blvd.  You need to have a kid with you (or in your group) to get in, to keep the pervs away I guess?
Why: not?  Or, this is the universe sending you a freebie because folks with kids on a budget don't get to go to shows as much.  

Little kids dance kind of like drunk zombies anyway, so how cute will it be to see yours lurching around during "I walked with a zombie"?  For the next "First Show" I'm gonna suggest they team up with my beloved Mates of State (who are going on tour this summer).  The MoS website says they'll be touring with "live magic, sword swallowers, human blockheads, contortionists, and much more."  Um, yes please! 

Gender Approaches with Infants and Toddlers

These days most of you, Dear Parents, are educated and open-minded and thoughtful and incredible when it comes to raising your kids and exposing them to different cultures.  Mixed race, same sex parents, adopted children, blended families: it's all old hat.  And that's important because even young toddlers are amazingly adept at picking up on emotional and social cues.  Have you ever noticed how your kids maybe behave differently when Grandma's in town, or how the kids in the preschool act when when the director's in the room?  On a more insidious note, your kids are watching how you interact with people of different races and genders.  Your "little scientists" are, after all, learning how to be people, and they learn that by imitating and internalizing the behavior modeled in front of them.

11-teen Way of Looking at an Infant Care*

1.  On your hands and knees- Are toys and other materials accessible from this level?  Are pictures and photos placed where both a young infant and a mobile toddler can see them?  Remember that very young babies can only focus up to 1-2 feet away (though this range quickly expands).  Also, from a low vantage point you'll be able to spot any potential safety hazards.

2.  With your eyes closed!  Blocking out your vision will allow you to focus on your other senses.  Young children are just getting started in sorting out their senses, and touch, smell, taste, and sound are all equally important to them (as opposed to us vision-oriented adults).  Are there a variety of different textures available?  Can you smell traces of bleach or other harsh cleaning products?  Is the noise level a pleasant ruckus or an overwhelming roar?

3.  With your eyes open!  Check to see that the caregiver's license is displayed prominently (required by law) and that it's up-to-date.  For your information, anytime time a licensing analyst makes a visit to a child care facility, a written report is sent to that provider and this report must be posted for 30 days.  That visit could be a random choice or a follow-up on a complaint.

Keeping It in the Family

I'm taking advantage of Max's nap-a-thon to write about another issue that's quickly becoming kind of a passion of mine. . . family child care advocacy!  Let me throw some stats at you first, Gentle Reader (courtesy of a 2009 survey from NACCRRA, the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agency).  These are averages from the state of California:

• Number of children (age 0-6) needing care due to one or both working parents: 1,700,796 (over 50% of all the children in the state)
• Average yearly fees for infant care in a full-time child care center: $11,580 (!)
• Average yearly fees for infant care in a full-time family child care: $7,937 (!!)
• Average annual tuition for a 4-year state college: $5,346 (!!!)
• Number of family child care homes in CA: 38,132
• Percentage of family child care homes that are nationally-accredited: a measly 0.82% (the rate of accredited child care centers is higher at 6.5%)
• 65% of total available slots are in child care centers; 35% are in family child cares

Times are Hard but You Can Still Feel Good About Shopping

My friend Adam gave me the head's up on Mamabargains.com.  It's like Gilt Group for the playground set- limited amounts of high-end goods on super discount.  Check it out!  I'm all for supporting small business, dare I say, mom-preneurs. 

Mamabargains.com

No Baby, No Cry

Well, the whole hipster parent thing is so well-established by now that it's barely even a cliche.  Baby fauxhawks, anarchy onesies, Strokes cover bands at the talent show, whatever.  I'm not saying I'm immune to it: my kid's been to the Echo.  So, the Rockabye Baby line makes perfect "why didn't I think of that?" sense.  Lullaby renditions of bands like the Beatles aren't that much of a stretch, but it's the ones like Green Day and Nirvana and Bjork that I think are the most fun.  They're put out by the cool kids at CMH Records (I heard their art director is pretty cool, hi Argee!) based in Silverlake.  Pick some up and enjoy the soothing sounds of glockenspiel and xylophone with your little monkey gone to heaven- the perfect iron(y)-enriched musical formula! 

A word on music and babies: there's no doubt that playing music for your child is an enriching experience.  But make it one you give in small doses- your newborn is stimulated enough by just by living in this crazy world.  Like, clothes touching my skin and look at that dust floating in the air, wow!  If music's playing all the time it'll eventually become more background noise.  It can be part of your routine, like playing soft music before a nap or bedtime.  Better yet, make music an active experience, rather than a passive one, by singing together or letting him play with musical instruments as soon as those wild flails become a little more controlled.  Shaking a maraca or banging on a drum help refine motor control and teach your baby learning schemes like cause and effect, providing a great foundation for future development.

Rockabye Baby!  Available through the Rockabye Baby store and probably at lots of other places, too.

Critter Club at the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles

Shout out to my former employers: Do you have a little one who's crazy about bugs or dinosaurs?  Do you want them to get a taste of this "Nature" that we city-dwellers hear so much about?  Check out a Critter Club.  One Saturday a month (usually the second Saturday, but check the website because it sometimes changes) the Natural History Museum puts on an excellent program geared to 3-5 year olds.  The preschool/toddler demographic is a big (and, I thought, somewhat neglected) part of this Museum, so I'm glad that this program exists to reach out to the stroller mafia.  I think more programming is being developed that's geared to the little ones, and many of the museum's halls are in the process of renovation and being updated, so keep your eyes our for great things from them in the future.  Anyway, a Critter Club session usually lasts about half an hour and consists of a short explanation of the day's topics (themes change every month and are usually based on the season or the Museum's current exhibit), as well as storytime, a craft, and, best of all, super up close time with one of the animals from the Museum's Living Collection.  There're sessions at 10 am and 11 am.  It's free with Museum admission and get there early.  Afterwards, stay and meet a dinosaur at one of the Dinosaur Encounters shows, and definitely take the kids down to the Discovery Center to dig for dinosaur bones.  Say hello to my little friends in the Insect Zoo.  Tell them Kristine sent you.

Critter Club at the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County
2nd Saturday of every month (usually)
The next one is themed "Ladybugs and Butterflies" with sessions at 10 am and 11 am.

Free Earth Day Concert with EGG!!!

Thanks to Jamie for the heads up.

It'll be at Dragonfly Dulou on Sunday, April 25th at 11:00 am.
Visit the Dragonfly Dulou website for more info.

Catcher in the RIE

Anyone who's studied infant development or modern parenting approaches has heard of Magda Gerber and her RIE institute- Resources for Infant Educarers. Magda was a pioneer in the field of infant development and the idea of "caring with respect." The RIE method is intuitive and simple, once you make this realization: babies are not living dolls! They are in fact little people undergoing incomparable brain development and acquisition of new skills. So, Magda put out the idea that infants should be treated with respect. Telling them "I'm going to pick you up now" or "It's time to change your diaper" instead of just whisking them off from behind with no notice helps them acquire language as well as develops the infant/caregiver relationship. Another major point is that daily caregiving routines, such as feeding or diaper-changing, are really the "curriculum" (along with free play) that make up an infant's day. The idea that these caregiving routines are not tasks to be rushed through, but are actually opportunities to learn and to build emotional attachment, is a real breakthrough. And, lest you forget, emotional attachments are the foundation for ALL other development in a child's life! She also stresses observation and intervening only when necessary. This "educaring" approach is, I think, truly the difference between a stimulating infant environment and someone who's merely babysitting.

I'm a big believer in most of the RIE teachings, but I am in no way militant about it. Yeah, we put the baby in the sling or in the stroller before he could sit up (Magda thought babies should not be placed in any positions they can't achieve themselves). I've used many of the approaches with my own child and I plan on implementing it with the children in my family care. But, when I started my Infant and Toddler Development class at LACC, I was pretty surprised that right now the current academic teaching in infant development is basically synonymous with the RIE method, no challengers. It's not like in preschool educational theory where at least you have several schools of thought to choose from, like Montessori or Reggio Emilia. It could just be as simple as demographics- Magda lived and worked in Los Angeles, and her RIE Institute is based here, so it's not surprising that her teachings figure so prominently in what I'm learning. My question is, what comes next? This is in no way a criticism of RIE methods. I really am curious to see what the next step will be, what the post-RIE research and field studies will come up with. I've always had an academic approach to infant development as well as a practical one. Magda was an advocate for infants and taught so many people how to listen and relate to these baby humans. She brought a lot of validity to the field of infant care and infant development, and for that we should all be greatful.

I highly recommend Magda's book Dear Parent to anyone who has or works with infants. The RIE Institute is based in Los Angeles and offers (somewhat expensive) classes for both parents-to-be and infant caretakers. I'm saving my pennies to attend the annual RIE Conference at the Skirball Center in June.